GOSPEL DELTA

The Pilgrim’s Progress

// March 4th, 2010 // Life

With 2010 already flying by, and conviction setting in about falling behind on discipline and resolutions, it was interesting to stumble across this post from last year, and encouraging to see that God’s grace has been abundant over the course of this last year. Deep relationships have been forged, a lot of pruning has happened in my own heart and life, and the Gospel has certainly advanced. We need to regularly take stock and cultivate thankfulness, or we can all too easily lose perspective. And we need people to speak into our lives and to walk with us, to remind us of the gospel and to help us enjoy grace.

January 6, 2009: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21). My main resolution for 2009 is to die. Die to self. I need to learn how to be a more faithful cross-bearer, not a better person. If I don’t let go of my life this year and let the Spirit do his work, I’m going to crash and burn hard, I’m sure of it. It’s hard to know what a new year will bring. The Lord has blessed me abundantly, I never want to forget that; I have a beautiful pregnant wife, a baby girl on the way, the resources to provide for them, and a relationship with God that is deepening every day.

This is the first year in a long time that I’ve had the opportunity to devote serious time to reading and studying Scripture. I’ve been up to my ears for the past 8 years in business textbooks and MBA curriculum, and I feel blessed with the chance to start the year off digging deep into theology. 2009 is going to be Gospel-saturated. Of course, I know that it”ll be a struggle to maintain discipline with the sleep deprivation and the crazy schedule that comes with a newborn baby, so I’m keeping my list pretty short and my expectations low. With the baby coming in mid-March and recently being laid off from my job, I have a lot on my plate. The Lord has put me in a place of humility and complete dependence on him. My faith will surely be tested. If don’t stay close to Jesus in this season, and I begin to distance myself from God’s Word, the effects will be devastating.

Being unemployed with a baby on the way is a terrifying thing to face. The stakes are high and the pressure is weighing on me in a way that I’ve never felt before. In spite of all this, the main question I need to answer this year is: What has Christ freed me from? That’s really what matters. Do I need a Savior? Is this life about Jesus, or is this all about me? Can I reflect the discipline, peace and joy of Christ in the midst of these challenging circumstances? Can I worship God, chase hard after Jesus, repent of sin, love my family, and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit even when the chips are down? Or will I bend inward and fall apart. These are the questions that need to be answered in 2009.

Back to basics. If I accomplish anything this year, a deeper relationship with Christ through devotional reading, meditation and prayer will be my major focus and goal. For my devotions, I hope to gain a greater grasp of the Story of God and biblical theology with the ESV’s chronological reading guide and audio podcast. In regard to in-depth study, I have the incredible opportunity to study the Gospel of John in community through the preaching series at River West and our small group, as well as tackle Paul’s Letter to the Romans in tandem with Luther’s Lectures on Romans through a men’s discipleship group.  Above is the short list of books that I’m reading this year, and some others that I hope to read. I pray that the Lord will keep me close, that he will increase as I decrease, that he will strengthen and galvanize me for the trials ahead…but most of all I pray that Christ would keep my eyes focused on the cross rather than my own efforts and accomplishments.